Twelve years in one college! I went to three colleges in twelve years and fooled around with three college widows! When I was your age, I went to bed right after supper. What's all this talk I hear about you fooling around with the college widow? No wonder you can't get out of college. You're a disgrace to our family name of Wagstaff, if such a thing is possible. My boy, you took the words right out of my mouth. If these are your shoes, the least you could do was have them cleaned.ĭad, let me congratulate you. Oh, is that what I stepped in? I wondered what it was. President Wagstaff, now that you've stepped into my shoes. Pull over to the side of the road there and let me see your marriage license. Where will it all end? What is it getting you? Why don't you go home to your wife? I'll tell you what, I'll go home to your wife and, outside of the improvement, she'll never know the difference. You just said that! That's the trouble around here: talk, talk, talk! Oh, sometimes I think I must go mad. I said the students would appreciate a brief outline of your plans for the future. I am sure the students would appreciate a brief outline of your plans for the future. Would you mind getting up so I can see the son rise? So, doing your homework in school, eh? Who'll say 76? Who'll say 17 76? That's the spirit! 1776! Any questions? Any answers? Any rags? Any bones? Any bottles today? Any rags? Let's have some action around here. Things kept going from bad to worse but we all put our shoulders to the wheel and it wasn't long before I was flat on my back again. The last college I presided over, things were slightly different. As I look over your eager faces, I can readily understand why this college is flat on its back. And that reminds me of a story that's so dirty I'm ashamed to think of it myself.
![horse feathers marx brothers horse feathers marx brothers](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BMTQxMzU3MjM2Ml5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwMjA5MTI2._V1_.jpg)
Well, I thought my razor was dull until I heard this speech. Members of the faculty, faculty members, students of Huxley and Huxley students - I guess that covers everything.